Headaches

I tend to have migraine; it’s a family history also. My kids, even the teenagers too, get ignore. They understand my pains but at such time, there’s no one else to understand their concerns perhaps. My husband’s profession takes him away from us most of the time. I feel so bad during such episodes. That has brought a lot stress to me.

Turning point

Then, one day I realized that it’s becoming a source of togetherness for us. My kids take care of me.

  • They bring me water, juices and medicine ( my teenager).
  • They massage my head, foot and shoulders.
  • Keep younger kids queit and sometimes take little ones out to lessen the noise. ( Ahh! Small kids can’t keep queit and can’t speak in lower tone)

It’s a blessing

Their small gestures of care have made me realize how blessed I am. That painful headache has brought me to the core of my kids hearts. It’s a natural way to train them empathy and care. Sometimes, it’s damn painful but it’s worth to bear such pain. Exploring the beautiful human insides these kids( mostly look like monsters 😉) is a precious feeling. What do you feel?

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Healthy Diet

Healthy diet, the most popular term, has been attributed to one single objective, that is, weight loss. Whereas, no one want to know about healthy diet in real terms. This trend has taken our society to a wrong turn towards malnutrition. In simple words, it is need of hour to know the real benefits of healthy diet. Healthy diet is the food in which components provides variety of nutrients to the body to keep optimum health.

In layman’s language, our food should be comprises of almost all nutrients like carbs, vitamins, minerals and very little fat. Whereas, according to dietary requirements, healthy diet must provide almost all required nutrients which can be listed as

  • Protein

  • Fiber

  • Iron

  • Calcium

  • Potassium

  • Sodium

  • Vitamin A

  • Vitamin C

The above mentioned nutrients can make all understand the benefits of healthy diet. Healthy diet doesn’t mean to lose weight only. It’s good to have your weight in limit but more important is body health. A healthy body will certainly give smooth way towards healthy weight management. In easy words, healthy diet gives you

  • Energetic body

  • Good immunity

  • Attentive mind

  • Quick reflexes

  • Less fatigue

  • Healthy skin and hair

  • Healthy vital organs

  • Good weight maintenance

In nutshell, healthy food contains many general benefits which any common person can get and understand without going through minute details. The above mentioned benefits can give good understanding of healthy diet. Now these days, it’s more easy to eat healthy diet, according to the nutritional benefit, due to availability of wide range of information on internet. Hence, buckle up and start living a healthy life to enjoy its bounties to optimum.

Don’t be ignorant!!

It’s a true story of a friend’s child(female) who is now a young girl. It’s never been narrated to anyone however it’s eye opening. I am narrating in my friend’s words.

” I am social person and I love to meet people around my neighbourhood and even in my office. I have tried to instill the same thing in my children. I have 2 kids; one girl(now 12 years old) and one boy(now 6 years old). Fortunately, my daughter inherited my lovely social habits however unfortunately this has led her into the worst experience of her life. That event turned her into an introvert girl whom I have been hardly trying to improve. But I know that I was so wrong not to tell her the evil part of any human which can be lurking behind the angel faces.

I used to send her to give food to my some friends as I loved and even still love to share food with my neighbors. I was little careful as I never sent to any home with male members alone. I knew my friends routine so I did manage well. I was so happy to have such bunch of good friends. My daughter used to go to my dearest friend ocassionally as she also had a daughter. During that time, when I was about to deliver my son, she had helped me a lot. Although my mother in law was with me to help yet she took good care of my daughter who was 6 years old at time. After few days, my mother in law objected about my daughter’s longer stays at my friend’s home which I over-ruled with argument of her dedication and goodness. After few days, I just realized that my daughter had changed. She was more quiet and ate little. She was totally different which I mistook as new sibling jealousy. I just let her be.

After few days, I was startled rather devastated by a call from school. The school psychologist just asked a question if you had ever talked to your daughter about lesbian or gay. I was shattered into pieces and she suggested to talk to her. She herself didn’t talk to her keeping respect about my faith( I am Muslim).

I was crying in front of my mother in-law badly. She calmed me down and suggested me not talk directly about such sensitive topic. Instead, she asked me to dig out her stay at my that friend home. I left my son mostly to my MIL and had many out parties which led my worst nightmares true. My friend devastated my daughter and her own daughter by seducing both into lesbian sex. I couldn’t understand what to give answer to my daughter question… ” Mama what exactly was that… I felt gross… Why were you ignorant about your friend?”

My friend was crying after narrating. That’s a worst question and she wished never to hear. I just wanted to conclude about being very careful for your innocent kids irrespective of gender.

Chocolate Cake in Microwave

I had always admired my friends who are baking experts. I only wished to be like them but I know I don’t have such expertise. My interest is in writing and reading not in cooking( with apology). But, to my kids, I am the best cook in this world. Hence, I had to try things in which I can’t be expert; and this has led me to many short cut of cooking hehehe. One I am sharing here. My microwave brownie or cake or cupcakes, you may name whatever you like.

Ingredients:

  • Flour(maida) 3/4 cup
  • Coco powder 1/2 cup
  • Baking powder 1 teaspoon
  • Baking Soda 1/2 teaspoon
  • Salt one punch
  • Egg 2
  • Cooking oil 3/4 cup
  • Sugar 3/4cup
  • Hot water 1/2 cup

Method

Mix Flour, Coco powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in one bowl.

Put oil, sugar, eggs in bowl. Beat for 2minutes. Add all dry ingredients and mix. Pour one cup hot water and beat to make it smooth.

Pour in greased microwave bowl and bake in microwave for 5-6minutes. After it check like inserting knife in the middle or wooden stick. (In my microwave, it took only 5-6 minutes. You may set time as per your microwave oven power.)

Then take out your cake ( wait till it gets cool). Now you can serve it

  • as it is
  • With frosting
  • With ice cream
  • With custurds
  • With biscuits

** In one picture, I have used three eggs, but plz ignore number of eggs in the photo. I had obviously altered quantity as per number of eggs.

You are the best Mommy in the whole world.

Oh no… What have you done! What are you doing! Stop talking! Stop yelling I am not deaf! Stop jumping! Stop running! Stop throwing your dinner! STOPPPPPP! HERE COMES THE BREAKING POINT!

Breaking point for mommies which may lead to crying as well. We, mothers, may feel bad for ourselves. These ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’ commands are not really working. Really?

Talk to yourself

Is it working? Obviously No; because we are not giving them commands, we are actually wrongly reading the signals from our innerself. They are behaving the same they daily do. But we are not in proper shape today. We need little rest. But we are thinking in this way… Am I bad mommy? But my friend is doing so great; she is quick and well organized.

The Comparison

This habit must be completely diminished from our lives. We are mommies,not robots, hence we don’t have identical software. We are different from one another and we are doing great. The comparison to other mommies may lead to frustration. I will never be shouting and monster mommy in front of my friend. I might be strict and composed but I must have been doing a lot of effort to maintain that composure. When I am alone, I might be more louder to make my next generation kid hear me. Hence don’t make me your ideal, you don’t know me how I behave in my kingdom( my nest) and I never want any of you to know. 😁 But I love my nest and nestlings who know my weak and strong moments than anyone else.

Love yourself

Love yourself that will groom you more and more. This can lead to be your ideal mommy which might be you yourself. Not only love rather pamper yourself. You are the best mommy in the whole world for your kids. Hence, you are at winning bench. Fortunately, all mommies are.

Ignore

Start ignoring few things that bother you and may take you Insanity level. I used to touch that level sbut, after having a heart condition, I learnt to ignore many things to keep sanity for heart and mind. JUST KEEP YOUR ANGER SILENT FOR 10-15SECS. TAKE A DEEP BREATH NOW YOU MAY YELL AND CRY ( IF YOU STILL FEEL LIKE)

GIVE SPACE TO FRIENDS ( OTHER MOMMIES)

Your friends are also going through many issues like this. Don’t expect them to be perfect; especially when you feel that you are. Your perfection can be a reason for their imperfections. Accept them as it is … Give them space by not mentioning their mistakes and your achievements.

The Secret

Hug your kid when you’re getting out of your mind. If you have preschooler, tell him/her/ them to hug you to give you a smile. Their hugs will give you positive energy. Try it! It works for me.

Forget

Kids will forget your low moments and they will remember only your love. You also start forgetting you low moments. Only remember your lovely moments.

In short, mommies! we all are in same journey but our paths and ways are different. That journey is not competition hence no worry if you get tired and sit somewhere. You are the best mommies for your children. So proven… You all are the best. Love, accept and forget your low times. Hugs and kisses of your kids are the keys to your sanity.

DON’T LIST FOR MOMMIES

  • don’t compare
  • Don’t expect quick response
  • Don’t hesitate to cry
  • Don’t refrain from talking
  • Don’t answer unwanted calls
  • Don’t wear same dress daily
  • Don’t ignore your lipstick.put it on

Amma Tips (Totkay)

The journey of motherhood is full of love, affection, hugs and kisses 😍 ; however to be a realistic it’s rollercoaster ride which bring highs, downs, joy, fear, tears, vomits( by baby mostly) and emotion going on peaks but it worth enjoying. How can you enjoy this rollercoaster ride😎?

Family Tips ( Totkay)

I am mother of 4 kids, their age group ranges from teens to 5 year old. Luckily, I got support from my family’s elder mother which has made it worth enjoying. I wish to have more but my doctor don’t allow this(oops! Tracking off). So I was telling about support I got from my Saas Ami(MIL), my Ami(mother), my bhabis ( sisters in law), nands( my husband’s sisters) and neighborhood. The list is long but I shortened it 😉. But their Totkay (tips) helped me a lot. In start I took them as not worth trying but later on, I had to try it and those were working; literally working and helping. I stored in my mind and can’t stop myself now from telling others 🙈. I will list few below which helped me a lot. These are mentioned here to share my experience, if anyone wants to try; it’s totally on their choice.

  • Newborn crying a lot .. check it’s tummy… Give him/her mild massage around naval clockwise and anticlockwise both following a mild warm pad touch which we call takoor in Pakistan and India both.
  • In start and end of winters, put oil on baby’s nails to avoid getting cold, flu. ( I don’t know how but it worked). If child , somehow, gets flu and nasal blockage, apply oil ( very very little) in nostrils to open blockage.
  • Rub a specific oil made to rub on chest, back, forehead, palms and foot soles for cold, cough and flu.
  • Don’t massage your kid if he/she is having fever.
  • Kid fells and blood coming out mouth .. make him/her to eat sugar , the blood will stop and child will be soothed. Obviously this is for kids more than six months. Sugar amount should be little.
  • Make ajwain water to give to your kid to get rid of tummy aches.

I need to put a stop here because the list is too long to put in one post.

Ahhh! Literally, I deleted a long list to make it short post. That list is not just tips( Totkay) rather it’s the love and affection of my family and friends which I got as new mother. Although, at some points, these get irritating especially when these are mixed with species of judgemental sentences. But all this has made my motherhood beautiful and joyful.

You are adorable!

Wait for that precious is also precious. When I got my first pregnancy test positive, I was like flying in the sky. Then in a week, I was flying due to morning sickness. Ahhh! Really I was not expecting this. I was dreaming of a lovingly, romantic and affectionate pregnancy. But that was a nightmare… Literally, I mean it; it was nightmare.

By the grace of God, I had wonderfully healthy pregnancy however I was shocked and then I started counting and wait. That wait made me forget every pain I was having. The first flutter of baby movement made my day. From then, the movements and kicks made me forget every pang I was having.

The DAY came and pangs were not painful , that was wait about to end. With every contraction, our meeting time was getting near.

Hay!!! There you came into my arms. “You’re adorable… So adorable.”